Nothing drives me crazy more than someone who has the “woe is me” attitude. I just want to give them a good hard shake and tell them, “The world is not out to get you”. We all know people like that, people who feel like they’re the victim of circumstance.
People who are in victim mode often feel like nothing every goes their way, the universe is conspiring against them and people in general can’t be trusted. Victims are difficult people to be around because they are often angry at the world in general and can take out that anger on anyone who happens to be in close enough range. Often, victims have a very difficult time taking responsibility for their role in things. Other people and things get blamed for their circumstances in life.
When people bitch, whine and complain about their lot in life, other people pay attention to them. Misery loves company, right? Often times victims commiserate with each other. They get mutual “understanding” that the world sucks. But that only lasts for so long because ultimately people get tired of listening to it. People who play the victim often are also often able to manipulate other people into doing things for them because they “don’t know how” to do something (excuse!).
But have ever considered where that anger is coming from? Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Yes, that’s true. But it’s really all in how you look at it. You might find yourself in a situation that is less than desirable. But that situation may actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise. After all, everything happens for a reason. When things seem to be going sour for you, look to see what the lessons are to be learned.
Often, you’ll discover that you had a big responsibility for the situation happening in the first place. Situations don’t happen TO you. They just happen. The emotion you attach to the situation will determine whether or not you feel like it’s happening TO you. Changing your mindset is exactly how not to be a victim. Ultimately your mindset will determine whether or not you feel like you’ve been victimized or not.
If you find yourself playing the victim it’s likely because it’s working for you. If it weren’t getting a payoff then you would stop doing it.
Signs you’re playing the victim:
1. You’re angry at the world.
2. The state of your life is someone else’s fault.
3. Your friends agree with your viewpoint that the world sucks.
4. You get defensive and justify your actions and decisions.
5. You don’t want to hear anyone else’s point of view.
Empower yourself to take charge of your life, instead. Here are a few things you can do right now to
1. Start to take responsibility for your role in the things that have happened in our life. As Dr. Phil says, “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”.
2. Stop blaming other people, things or circumstances for the state of your life.
3. Forgive the people in your life that you feel have done you wrong. When you let go of that anger and resentment, you can start to take a more positive approach to your life.
4. Stop making excuses and justifying your actions.
5. Recognize that things just happen. It’s the emotion you attach to it that decides how you perceive the situation.
Playing the victim always leaves you in a state of stress because you feel like you have no control over your life. Lower your stress levels today and start to take control over your life once and for all.